When you create new living space – don’t create isolation for you loved one

Don’t create isolation

Whatever you do living space wise do not make something that is remote or confined. You do not want to shut your relative away, and they do not want to feel shut away either.

This is an important point to discuss early on so that both parties are comfortable with the layout.

Once you have established where you are going to be living explain to your relative how the layout will be. Show where each of you will be living, eating and sleeping.

The other thing you need to ensure that whatever you do, you include a common area where you can all get together. It doesn’t need to be formal, just a place all can feel comfortable, say a kitchen or lounge.

It doesn’t need to be large just a place that it is easy to get to and use, a central hub for the whole family. We have a kitchen we share which has a table and sofa in it so it is comfortable to chat and cook together. We both have a different door into the kitchen so access is easy and it can be at any time.

There are other parts of what we have created that encourage togetherness and warmth.

We have a fence between our garden, with an easily opened gate and on either side chairs and benches for us all to to sit on.

We even share sheds, one stores the garden tools which mum uses and she has a nice summer house which we sit in with the kids. Here we read stories, catch spiders and enjoy each others company.

No feelings of loneliness or isolation here!

I have come across quite a few places over the years, not welcoming at all and where relatives seem to have been put in lonely spot.

One had the annex built onto the far end of the house, away from the main house entrance, drive and path. It was reached through a long dark hall and old dining room [which never seemed to be used].

It didn’t have to be this way it could have been built in a different location. In doing so making it a more pleasant place to live, I just don’t think enough thought had been put into it to make it nice.

The other place I saw recently looked from the outside to be a rather deluxe looking annex with lots of great facilities. But it has been built at the bottom of the owners garden, so not only is there the isolation of the annex itself from the house and family, but it is also away from the front of the main house. So away from the drive, footpath and passing traffic both people and cars, essentially life!

Now in each case the relative may have asked for privacy/isolation I am not sure but I still say you should ensure that all involved in the project feel connected.

The relative might be old but they also want to feel welcome and able to join in with the family [if they want to]. Its also important for them confirmed by my mum to be able to see what is going on in the outside world.

I guess its comforting that way rather than feeling your shut away from everything thats going on.