Don’t underestimate the amount of work you have to do on your project,

Where do you start

Well I am hoping this site will be the starting point for many people in the future.

Well the first thing I did was to get a pad and write at the top of it what we were trying to achieve. Not too much detail just get down in writing your early thoughts.

This I think helps you focus on what you are trying to do.

After this I then listed all the areas I could think of and questions that needed to be answered.

A kind of checklist that goes as follows.

Who are you doing this for – is it your mum/mother in law/poorly relative?

The other option here could be for yourself or another family member. Its just writing it down so you are clear why.

My reason was based on a number of points. Flowing though it all was memories that I had from my dad. He had put his mum into a care home and regretted it for ever. He felt he had abandoned her.

Throughout my life he always asked me to look after mum for him when he was gone, this I must say helped me through the tough bits in the project knowing I was doing the right thing!

It also helps us now because we are near her and removes the stresses of living away from your loved one.

What are the options: nursing home, sheltered accommodation, care at home, do nothing, sell the house and move in to a new one together, build a granny annex, buy a log cabin, adapt your house for your relative…..I am sure there are more but list your options.

The reason for adding do nothing, is that for some it might be what you decide after looking through the various options first.

You may also be one of the forty or fifty year olds I have come across who are thinking about long term planing. They just want to look into it now, do lots of research, discuss ideas and then wait a while to see what happens.

At least the seeds are sown in the family of an idea for the future.

Once you have your list of options, take time to list the good and the bad things about each.

Log cabins: for – its quickish to build, lots of companies doing them?

Against – there expensive, I don’t think they add value to your house, and it wasn’t where we want to put our mum?

Sheltered accommodation – for good choice, your money is safe in property, still local?

against – no dog, a bit lonely, still won’t see here much, ……you get the idea.

These lists will be built up over time, as you go down different paths, looking at places, speaking to people.

You will start to build up a picture of options and it will narrow these down into maybe a couple that look like good ways to go.

You will have plenty of information to talk about with your family and to help your final decision.

The other thing to do is list what the priorities are for each person:

This is a biggy, in that much of what is written here will impact the whole project.

Ours were a good school near, a garden and separate accommodation – there were other smaller desires but stick to the main ones

Mums were – familiarity, keep dog, garden, good south facing lounge, a shower room instead of bathroom.

Why are we doing this:

an important question to ask of everyone involved so each person needs to be clear about their why.

Our reasons were clear, to prevent mum from having to go into sheltered accommodation and thus loose her loved pet dog. To stop her from becoming lonely and living in a falling down house. To help us all out.

Who is involved in this: again list all the people that might have an interest, my wife, our children, my sister, my mum.

Who wants to be involved in this: my wife and I

When do you need to start

As soon as possible, this will be if you have a pressing need to find accommodation. Your relative is ill, or needs to find somewhere to live. It must be said that doing things quickly is not easy as there is quite a process to go through but.

Lets just start: the need is there so lets look into whats involved. Things may change but it would be good if we news what our option were.

No rush: looking to lay out possible options and maybe make some decisions for the future. Build or adapt for a different use which can be altered when required. A room or area to rent out for example.

As you can see when to start can be at different times, it will all depend on your circumstances.

Where do we go to get information

This will be covered over the coming days, the above are things to get you started. Hi

If you have any questions please drop me line and if your just starting out good luck.

Let me know how your getting on

thanks

David

david@mglivingspaces.com